Recently in the news and in the media, there has been a spike in people interested in the retrograde motion of our planets.  Astrophysicists finally traced this back to Millennials who actually believe planets occasionally reverse their orbits and thus supposedly wreak havoc.

Not wanting to pass by this golden opportunity, astrophysicists temporarily altered various planet orbital data feeds to cause panic in coffee shops around the country.  Chief prankster and chair of Harvard’s Astronomy Department, Dr. Avi Loeb stated, “Let’s face it, none of these people know how to use a telescope so we can portray whatever we want with this data.  They think the chaotic data we’ve shown explains the current political climate in US, though curiously not in other countries on this earth.”

Dr. Loeb explained that the data will resume back to normal in time for the 2020 presidential elections because, “Well, we need these people to vote for climate science.”