President Donald Trump claimed victory today in closing what has been an elusive conclusion to trade negotiations with China.  Beleaguered negotiators recoiled when President Trump deployed his “secret weapon” and brought in tech giant Huawei.  After much horse trading, Trump happily crossed two big items from his to do list by agreeing to trade terms with China and promising free Huawei phones to all Americans.

Trump tweeted, “I got the best deal possible for our country and the American people!  Free phones to all US citizens with unlimited data plans too.  The Chinese are giving us the best phones and the best technology.  They will even constantly monitor them to make sure everything is working well.”