The leaders of the once snubbed countries Haiti, Bhutan, Brunei, Djibouti, Mali, Niger, and Somalia have formed a coalition called Eat Shit, offering President Trump advice on how to address the coronavirus pandemic. 

Head of the coalition, Mr. Chike Mbadinuju, explains, “Our detailed plan lays out the best known methods which have earned us all coveted spots on endcoronavirus.org.”  When asked about advice for the upcoming US general election, Mr. Mbadinuju laughed, “Mr. Trump already knows what he’s doing there.  He and Mr. Lukashenko are thought leaders in election manipulation.  On the other hand, if you are afraid of that, we can also offer you coup consulting services.  We have experience with many things.”