All around the country, astonished administrators rushed to school campuses after hearing rumors of tanks and troops taking over K-12 education in cities implementing online schooling.  Today in a suburb of Austin, 25 tanks, trucks, and jeeps transcended on Lakeview Elementary.

Over a megaphone, the squadron leader announced:

We are here by order and decree of the great President of the United States of America.  We will begin mandatory instruction tomorrow at o five hundred hours.  Students must arrive in fatigues with a canteen, compass, and tactical backpack.  Curriculum will be restructured to the following:

Math – Counting to 100 burpees
Social Studies – Fox News
Reading – “Unlikeable: The Problem with Hillary”
Science – Eliminated
Music – Country
Art – Painting with Crude Oil
PE – AK47 Training
Lunch – MREs will be distributed on site

Students will be dismissed en masse at fifteen hundred hours to find their own way home.

God bless America!