Surprisingly polls have shown that some voters support Trump because they are somehow enamored by his “bravado.”  Enough to slap your forehead until it bleeds, this information has led Biden campaign managers to fund an app to translate Biden’s old-fashioned vernacular.

Notorious for “launch now, update later,” Silicon Valley developers created a translation app that does not completely hit the mark, so NASA has tried to help at the last minute.  The result was uniquely interesting.

Several quotes from Mr. Biden’s performance at the two presidential debates have been translated by the app below.

Joe Biden: “Will you shut up, man. This is so unpresidential. … Keep yapping, man.”
Badass Joe: Shut your trap before I cut off your main yapping engine!

Joe Biden: “He wouldn’t know a suburb unless he took a wrong turn.”
Badass Joe: His dumbass wouldn’t recognize a suburb even at an altitude of 830 kilometers!

Joe Biden: “He’s the worst president that America’s ever had. C’mon, man.”
Badass Joe: His leadership is so bad, he couldn’t command himself in a one man capsule!

Joe Biden: “It’s hard to get any words in with this clown.”
Badass Joe: His noise to sense ratio is through the roof!

Joe Biden: “He’s a very confused guy.”
Badass Joe: He’s so dumb, he thinks the sun’s going to die as a black hole!  Ohhhh! 

Joe Biden: “This guy has a dog whistle as big as a foghorn.”
Badass Joe: His dog whistle’s frequency AND amplitude are off the charts!

Joe Biden: “The oil industry pollutes significantly.”
Badass Joe: Big oil is so dirty they’ve never even heard of proton exchange membrane fuel cell technology!

Joe Biden: “The fact is this man has no idea what he’s talking about.”
Badass Joe: Trump is so ignorant he’s scared Trappist-1 is a presidential setup by Borat.

Joe Biden: “We handed him a booming economy. He blew it.”
Badass Joe: The jerk burned up the economy like Apollo 13’s oxygen tank number 2!