Recently, there has been an incredible run on condoms.  American women everywhere have been stockpiling this family planning essential.  However, the pandemic driving their shopping is not coronavirus.  Area woman Janine Dawson explains, “Look, we are facing a conservative justice pandemic in the Supreme Court.  Justice Long Dong Sliver has already questioned gay marriage and is going after women’s reproductive rights next.  We are fending for ourselves now unless maybe Pope Francis can save us!  Please! 6-3 is untenable!”